What the last 15 months taught me

Dear Friends,

As this year is just beginning, I want to share something more personal.

The last 15 months of my life have been way too full of challenges and loss. When I bewilderedly asked my therapist if this was “normal,” her humorous reply, “This is not where you want to be on the bell curve of life,” was deeply validating.

I am grateful for the perspective and wisdom I’ve gained through the pain, even when I wouldn’t have chosen the path that brought it. Much that happens in our lives is beyond our control, but in reality, there is equally as much that we do have control over.

One of the ways this season has changed me is how I begin my days.

I no longer start my mornings by grabbing my phone to check texts, emails, or to see what I missed on social media, even LinkedIn. Instead of going from zero to sixty in a matter of seconds, planning, plotting, and stressing, I now protect my first 30 minutes after I awake to be phone-free. I allow myself to observe, think, read, and/or reflect.

This way, I’m giving my nervous system a chance to start in safety rather than fight or flight. Starting my day emotionally and physically regulated allows me to be intentional about my life, and not just reactive.

This year is about paying attention.

About focusing on gratitude when my life is going “as expected,” instead of taking it for granted.

About prioritizing connection, relationships, and mattering (being valued and adding value) aren’t extras. They are essential to living a life worth living. 

How we live each ordinary day is how we build a life. Choosing presence, courage, and connection, again and again, is how we honor those who didn’t get the privilege of growing older.

We only get one life. And none of us wants to reach the end wishing we had loved and lived more boldly.

Thank you for being here, for caring, and for being willing to live intentionally and bravely in a world that pulls us away from ourselves, and from each other.

How do you spend your first 30 minutes every day? I invite you to make the shift, too. I'd love to hear how it makes a difference in your days.